How I Came To Faith
How you come to faith may be an immediate event, or a struggle over a long period of time. For me, it was the latter. Born with an undiagnosed disease, which had me screaming in pain as a child, I was constantly told off.
A NAUGHTY LITTLE GIRL
'For goodness sake be quiet! You'll waken the baby.'
My screams, over time, then became the result of a nightmare, in which I saw my parents standing over my grave, while I thought that they might then, perhaps, love me.
It was to be fifty years later, having been hospitalised, that I finally received a diagnosis. When I told my mother, she burst into tears. I then learned, from her, that she had been told to ignore me when I was a baby, because I was nothing more than a 'naughty, attention-seeking child'.
Neither of my parents went to church, though I learned decades later that my father was a believer. Each night, when I was a little girl, he would say what I now know to be a lovely 18th Century prayer, asking God to give me a good night's sleep.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
His love to guard me through the night,
And wake me in the morning light.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord, my soul to take.
A BAD, SAD, SCHOOLGIRL,
Sadly, the Roman Catholic primary school to which I was sent, was anything but helpful in bringing me to faith. Suffering a then unknown allergy, I would scrape any foods I hated i.e. rice pudding, custard or other dairy products, into what was known as the 'pig bin'. Immediately, the Sisters would come and tell me off, forcing me to eat it direct from the pile of wasted food, making me feel as if I would be sick.
Believing myself to be totally disliked, and unable to please, I clearly didn't do well educationally. Every end of term school report declared that I 'could do better', a statement that my father repeatedly forced upon me. (Fortunately, I did well in my GCEs.)
TEENAGE TRAUMA
A move from London to a delightfully pretty seaside village, unfortunately known for it's sexual misbehaviour, taught me a few lessons. While my younger sisters were both sent to a private girls' school, my parents choice for me was the local grammar school for boys and girls.
Having no knowledge or understanding of sexual behaviour, I became an object of attention when the boys put their hands up my skirt, pulled me towards them and rubbed themselves against me. I hated it, though in some way, it made me feel of some worth.
LOOKING FOR LOVE
Little wonder, I suppose, that years later I married with a baby on the way. I genuinely loved my husband who, like me, was the least favourite in his parents' eyes. Despite having a terrible stammer, he was a highly successful business man, though he certainly knew how to overspend, and to subject me to his temper tantrums, and his infidelity.
It was then, that the Lord intervened when our eldest daughter, aged only three, fell severely ill one morning. With my husband having left for work, I immediately rang the doctor, who sent for an ambulance which I followed to the hospital. There, my darling little girl was pronounced to have encephalitis, a severe brain condition from which she might, or might not recover. Faced with the prospect of her death, or brain dysfunction, I was terrified.
LOVE FOUND
Arriving home, I discovered an unknown neighbour on my doorstep. Reverend Michael Cole (now Canon), having seen the ambulance, asked if he might pray with me. Overcome with grief and trauma, naturally I invited him in to do so.
And that was it! I came to know the Lord, His love, His forgiveness, and His abiding power. From then on, I regularly attended Michael's church services; he and his wife became my best friends; and I promised that I'd bring up my daughter to know and love God. I wish I could say that improved my marriage. Sadly, it was to the contrary. Nevertheless, with the Lord's intervention, Sarah was completely healed, and she went on to become a Church Minister in later life.
How could I not praise God for the love he shone into my life! And for Jesus' horrendous death on a cross in order to forgive me my sins!
Further details of my life story can be found in my latest book, Picked For A Purpose, from which ALL proceeds are donated to The King's Trust (King Charles) which helps young people from disadvantaged communities to create a better future for themselves.
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